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my brain: there is literaly a 0 percent chance the fictional shit from creepy games will show up irl in your kitchen

me: but its dark and scary

Send me a cup of coffee. Espresso:
Describe your usual morning routine.
Impersonate one of your friends.
Name two things you think go well together and why.
List three aspects of your personality that you love.
Flat White:
Confess the most recent crime you committed.
Make the weirdest face you can.
Describe your ideal wedding.
Post a photo of a stuffed animal you own.
Name one of your guilty pleasures.
List two of your dream travel locations and why.
Recall the worst insult you've ever received.
Post a photo of your favorite outfit.
Describe an incident when you tried something new.


baras??? nah they’re so dumb they’re— [trips] [hundreds of thousands of baras spill out of jacket] w-what a stupid idea i these arent mine im just [gathering them up frantically sweating] listen i just listen fuck [thousands of baras scatter across the floor] shit fcuk im holding them for a friend just listen

on seabands

"Gee Phil how are we going to sell more versions of our product"

"Well Larry how about we dye it pink. Girls like that right?"

"I dunno, do girls even get sick? I think they’re immune to nausea or something."

"No way, they get pregnant don’t they? Morning sickness, you know?"

"Oh riiiight. But how do we make it really obvious we think that’s the only reason women would ever want our product?”

"Let’s put ‘for mama!’ right under our logo, and just like. Cram the packaging full of pictures of pregnant women. Really put a neon sign over them saying “I’m a Uterus”. Make it super uncomfortable for them to buy, especially if they’re not wearing a wedding band.”


siiiiighWhat Margaret.”

"Women get motion sickness and nausea too. Acutely, even. Without being pregnant."

"Don’t be stupid, Margaret. Larry, go ahead with the pregnant lady thing."


So in other news I lost my sea bands and had to get new ones, but wanted a color I didn’t already have. And now I have sea bands for mama. And am really questioning the marketing decisions of this company.



"What, are you going to be playing video games when you’re in your thirties?"

Uh, yeah.

Try my 40s. At least.

bombcollar replied to your post: luv it when a customer asks me who my …

"Um why are ur prices higher than this other place" don’t ask me I just sent u ur web password do u think I FUCKIN KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT PRICES

'excuse me why do these cost so much and why don't they come in i don't fuckin know, plaid, i can find them in plaid online for 5 dollars'

then maybe you should do that buddy i ain’t gettin plaid in and if i do it’s not 5 dollars

chugway replied to your post: luv it when a customer asks me who my …

someone came into my donut store today just to ask me about dunkin donuts

ah yes, it is clearly because there must be a donut store hive mind. why are you not admitting to its existence.



Gomu Gomu no Red Hawk Cosplay!
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